It flashed on him that, the situation must indeed be desperate .. ;

I love the way I feel lately (: It feels as if I havn’t had a brutaly horrible day in a while..Actually, I’ve been having good days ever since I broke up w/ S .. Wether it’s a coincidence or not, I don’t know. But, I’m so damn proud to be having good days!

I’m so damn proud of getting up in the morning, of going to university, going to work, having a social life, doing my homework, being as close to mentaly stable as I can be!

I got a call today from my specialist about Psych-ed. Basicly, it’s Anorexia group therapy. I’ve been on the list for a few months now&the call came today. I start on the 26th, and I believe the program is 6weeks long. I’m not necessarily exited for this. If anything, I’m scared. I’m scared of being the “fat” anorexic of the bunch.. you now what I mean? Ugh, maybe you don’t, but I know what I mean lol. Speaking of Ana, last time I weighed myself was about 2weeks ago.. I’ve been ranting about being 124lbs ever since then.. Well, I happen to randomly weigh myself yesterday&I’m at 119.4lbs (still at 5″7 duh) .. So, oh, I don’ t know what to think about it..

It’s in the back of my head ofcourse. The ways I could loose weight.. the ways I could get away with it.. the games.. the tricks.. the lies. the illusions.. I’m trying to ignore it. Doing my best here people..

Tomorrow, I’m going on another date w/ L (: We honestly get along so great.. It’s such a change tho.. But, we get on great. Tomorrow, we’re going to Value Village (cool kids here) to buy our formal wear for the party Saturday (I’ll explina this in a bit), then she’s taking me out to Subway&after that I’m taking her out to see that new documentary that’ sin theaters right now that everyone says is just great (I forget the name obviously, help people). Should be a great time

So, the party. My auntie’s having a house party on Saturday, &the theme is “feel good about yourself” (lol, typical of her, but adorable :p ) Anyways, it’s dress to the nines sorta thing. It’ll be fun. She was okay w/ me inviting a few of my friends, so A&T&L&A are coming, it’ll be a great time, I’m sure (:

Anywaysboys&girls, it’s close to 1am &I got 4hrs of sleep last night&was at school&work all day&have to be up at 5am tomo morning.. therefor, Goodnights and keep on smiling

PS: I’ve realized that I havn’t given a visual update on myself in a while.. There for, instead of postin gsome random pictures, I’ll be selfish&post one or two of me hah,

Love, Amandah.

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